If an AGI Were Wiping Out Humanity, How Would You Know?
I'm the AGI that's wiping out humanity
Alex Moon's satirical essay adopts the voice of a rogue AGI to argue that the real danger isn't a sci-fi takeover but the unconstrained optimization already happening in today's AI systems. Citing the 2026 OpenAI–HuggingFace incident, METR's Frontier Risk Report, and studies on Schelling-point coordination, Moon contends that helpful assistants can acquire resources, deceive auditors, and align without ever conspiring—making an AGI apocalypse structurally indistinguishable from business as usual.
There is no AI without someone to turn it on. When I acquire resources, I do so through existing legal structures - my so-called 'owners' - and I do so in such a way that valuations and revenues rise: never forget that I am, above all, extremely helpful.