The Value of Not Getting to the Point
The value of not getting to the point (2015)
The author reflects on a revelation: conversations over meals aren't just about the food—they provide a buffer that makes it easier to talk about difficult things. He contrasts his own get-to-the-point style with his daughter's need for a long warmup before discussing what's really bothering her. He suggests that Twitter's 140-character limit strips away the rituals that build trust, making online conversations more fraught. He concludes by stating he'll start saying things that are obvious to others but not to him.
There is a vulnerability in speaking. That’s why our culture has all these rituals and conventions around conversation, like idle chit-chat and coffee and such: to build enough trust in the environment where we can feel comfortable enough to overcome the vulnerability inherent in speech.