I Want a Wife (1971)
I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]
Judy Brady's iconic 1971 feminist essay, first published in the inaugural issue of Ms. magazine, uses biting irony to expose the unequal division of domestic labor. Written from the perspective of a wife who lists all the duties she expects from a 'wife,' the piece satirizes the societal expectations placed on women. It became an instant classic for its sharp critique of marriage and gender roles, sparking conversations that remain relevant today.
My God, who wouldn't want a wife?
- noduerme
As a guy who was never married, has no kids, works from home, and does all the cooking and cleaning while my girlfriend on her days off sleeps and scrolls reddit endlessly on the couch, I'm fairly tired of being underappreciated as well. Marriage and kids aren't the only form of emotional responsibility. But I think that everyone's free to make their own decisions, and I'm pretty sure we make a positive decision to stay together every day or else we don't.
Is some of that a "take it or leave it" attitude? Yes, but both people have that in every relationship, or else they should.
I think if you're in a relationship that's primarily defined by what you don't want to do, you should get out of it as quickly as possible.
- hypfer
I feel like this confrontational approach to the problem has achieved basically all it can achieve over the last 55 years.
We're heavy in the diminishing returns here - if it hasn't even inverted already.
New tools and approaches will have to be found to further push these goals.
- noosphr
I keep reading about what women did in the 70s as housewives and compare it to what they can do today.
The current generation of women falls so wildly short pieces like this read more like science fiction than any fiction of the period.
I'd happily pay mid six figures to someone who can provide the whole housewife package.
- dash2
Here’s a thesis: the feminism of the 70s was a reaction specifically to the trends of the 60s. You can see this here in 2 places: the double standard and easy acceptance of male infidelity; and attitudes to divorce.
- sajithdilshan
As a single guy living by myself and have no intention of getting married or having kids, the day to day tasks are much simpler. Also it becomes more simple if you have money to afford help like having someone once a week clean up the whole apartment.
So it seems like what you want is not a wife, but money
- roenxi
There is an element of this essay that seems a bit short on the whole rights-and-responsibilities concept that should be highlighted.
On the one hand, she's right that most people would want a wife and she gives a reasonable overview of why. That is why men generally want wives. The wives bring a lot to the table.
If you do the same exercise for husbands, generally most people would also want husbands. The men also bring a lot to the table. Relationships happen when everyone benefits.
Now if she's coming at this from a place of mutual joy and satisfaction then this essay is a pretty good summary of what men are probably looking for in a wife. But I see "instant classic ... [in a] feminist magazine" get the impression that it is probably being interpreted as wives shouldn't have to bring all the things men want to a relationship.
Yeah sure. I can agree with that. They shouldn't have to. Indeed, they don't. As we've discovered in the 1970s-2025 window they can renegotiate the social contract to a large extent. But I'm not really on board with what contribution the essay is supposed to have had beyond highlighting things what men like in women.
- dtsykunov
Where is this excerpt from? I like the questions at the end.
- arpanghoshal07
i am scared of it