Why Americans Are So Miserable: A Traveler's Lament
A Sick People
After traveling to six continents, the author returns to the US and is struck by the pervasive bitterness, entitlement, and misanthropy at home. Contrasting the kindness of Mexicans and others abroad with the individualism and solipsism of Americans, he reflects on the cultural malaise that makes the US feel like a sick nation.
It seems like that attitude has mutated into a hubristic solipsism that demands immediate satisfaction.
- Waterluvian
I used to travel to the U.S. every year or two for this or that and I always left thinking about just how stressed out I'd be if I had to live there. There's a sense of having to have your "guard up" so much. That someone or something is always out to screw you. That you need gates on your communities. That your kids' school is going to get shot up. That cops might be the enemy. That you'll depend on someone in a moment of vulnerability and you'll be part of the wrong tribe. That you're a medical event away from financial catastrophe. That even when you have medical insurance, they're trying to screw you. That healthcare is tied to employment. That your government really wants to !@#$ you and your civic duty is becoming a full-time job.
I think it's possible that a lot of this is subjective personal bias, and people may tell me it's not actually that bad. But I also wonder if the people who have to live their lives in it long term are just used to it. And if they were to step outside of it for long enough like this blogger, they might detox from the stress.
I think what I do know for sure is that "it's like this everywhere" feels certainly wrong. Everywhere is different and I don't accept that every single form of different is equal. There are better and worse versions of different.
- mattrighetti
> Every time I leave the US, I’m always struck by how happy other people seem to be.
Every time I visit a place I get the impression that people are happier, but it's just an impression based on something you notice and experience for a very short amount of time. You'll see happy and desperate people anywhere, I don't think it has to do with the place.
> Actually, I think I say that about everywhere I travel.
That's it.
- maguay
I'm living in Thailand, the self-declared Land of Smiles, and ... it's not very smiley.
I visit Japan, which social media seems to say is a terrible place to work and make friends, and it strikes me as much more friendly and outgoing. Same when I'm in the States, where I find it far easier to strike up a random conversation and enjoy the nods on the sidewalk.
Somehow I think the core differences is wherever you spend the most time, the gilding wears off and there's a core discontent underneath everything everywhere if you stay long enough.
- nyantaro1
I wonder if the author ever looked at the local news while in Baja. The experience from an American tourist will be incredibly different from an average Mexican.
- GodelNumbering
I disagree to the maximum extent possible. I have lived in 6 countries. Americans to me are by far most friendly and supportive of new ideas.
When you are visiting a place, you see it with rosy eyes. You are not forced to deal with the day to day difficulties of life, the commute, the commitments, the finances, the outrage about politics and so on. So, comparing the harsh reality of 'back home' against an environment where you don't have to deal with those is going to obviously come out different. When you live in a country for a while, only then the so-called 'bitterness' catches up to you.
- chriscjcj
In 1 A.D., Roman poet Ovid wrote:
The seed’s often more fertile in foreign fields,
and a neighbor’s herd always has richer milk.
https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/ArtofLoveBkI...
I think this was where "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" comes from.
My perpetually-single friend is always complaining that there "aren't any good single women" in his area. When he visits other places, he inevitably reports on how much nicer and prettier the women are there.
I wonder if the author would feel different about a place he was visiting if he stayed there for a few years.
There's also the concept that "familiarity breeds contempt" and there seems to be some evidence to support this.
- dbvn
There are millions of happy, good people in America. Grass is always greener. You see novelty when you travel.
- 999900000999
It’s not black and white.
The article doesn’t mention moving to another country, working a local job and enjoying it.
America is absolutely great if you get lucky and want to make a ton of money. I messed up, I didn’t do well on my Amazon or Meta interviews. But say I did 6 or 7 years ago.
Assuming I survived long enough for the 4 year vesting period I’d already have enough to retire. The world is full of safer and cheaper places,
No other country really offers this opportunity. My own career, dropping out of college and coding Unity games until I magically had a 6 figure career , is largely an American dream.
On the flip side, in almost every other developed country people don’t choose between medicine and rent.
Let’s say you have a chronic , but manageable health condition and a great job. You get fired in May, your wife files for divorce in September and you can be homeless by Christmas.
Now you’re in a shelter without the basic medic treatment you need.
Somehow it’s your fault. Tariffs destroyed your employers business, your fault.
If a bank needs a bailout golly gosh no expense shall be spared. A peasant can’t make rent this month, should have worked harder.
Combined with the prosperity gospel and if you suffer on the streets it means you made God angry or something. An infinite all powerful being and he’s upset you ate meat on the wrong day.
To be honest I dream of moving to a country where senseless stupid violence isn’t the norm. Maybe I’d have a kid and tell him that […]